The Search for the Perfect Floral Wrap Dress

red floral tea dress

Topshop red floral ditsy print wrap dress

 I seem to spend half my life (Or the part of it dedicated to shopping, at least: so, yeah, about half my life sounds about right…) on a never-ending search for the perfect floral wrap/tea dress.  I mean, ideally I’d prefer it to be a tea dress rather than a wrap dress – I’m one of those people whose breasts are set so high on her torso that any kind of v-neck at all (even just a regular, not particularly low-cut one) will look borderline obscene on me and basically involve me flashing my entire bra to random passers-by – but either would do: I’m not fussy.

Or, at least, I THINK I’m not too fussy, anyway, but I guess my complete failure to acquire more than one of these coveted dresses so far (I did buy one from ASOS last year, but while I like the idea of it, in reality, it always makes me feel a little frumpy…) is perhaps an indication that I actually AM.

I have only three main requirements here, though:

01. The dress has to be knee-length or longer – but not TOO long, or I start to venture into “frump” territory. This is actually the main reason my search has so far proven fruitless, with that single exception – almost all of the pretty floral print dresses I seem to find end just below the butt cheeks, and no one wants to see that much of my leg, trust me…

02. It can’t be too low cut – see above – which rules out almost all wrap dresses. (Yeah, I know I can wear a cami underneath, but who really wants to, especially if it’s warm out?)

03. It can’t be red. Which rules out this lovely Topshop wrap dress, which I’d otherwise have snapped up in a hurry, even although I can tell just by looking at it that the neckline would probably get me arrested for indecent exposure, even although it’s perfectly modest by anyone else’s standards. Red, however, is a deal-breaker for me: I know lots of redheads who look amazing in it, but I’m unfortunately not one one of them, which means I’m going to have to leave this dress for you guys instead. My loss is your gain, right?

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