As anyone who knows me will tell you, my arch nemesis is none other than the Croc. I hate Crocs with a fiery passion, and unless you’re wearing them as gardening shoes or for some other, purely practical reason (I know some people with foot problems find them to be the only shoes they can wear, for instance, and obviously no one’s going to blame them for that), I can see no good side to them. At all. Sure, I’ve heard all of the “but they’re SO! COMFY!” arguments, but here’s the thing: I don’t care. Because LOTS of shoes are “comfy”, without looking like something the garden gnome just kicked off. Also: I actually tried a pair of Crocs on once, out of sheer curiosity, and let me tell you, I’ve worn comfier shoes.
But anyway. This post actually has nothing to do with my mortal enemy, Crocs, other than that I suspect these shoes, by Zaha Hadid for Lacoste, may be a close relation of them. They’re also made of plastic, but while they lack the clumpy, gnome-shoe look of Crocs, they more than make up for it with that strange, winding plastic strap that snakes up the leg.
What’s that about, then? Can you even IMAGINE how sweaty and uncomfortable that thing would be in warm weather? Or how ridiculous these would look on?
The Fashion Police arrested these shoes earlier today, and have asked me to use my superpowers to cast them into space. I’m only too happy to oblige, but if you love these, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until July, when they’ll be available from selected outlets. As someone comments at the Fashion Police, “just in time for the hot weather!”