THE SHOES: Chrissie Morris ‘Kindra’ pumps, $1,225
These shoes give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Can’t wait to get my hands on these shoes,” doesn’t it? Except they’re not MY hands, obviously, they’re leather applique hands, And they’re not likely to ever be my shoes either, because:
a) They’re £$1,225
and
b) They have leather, applique hands attached to them, which will make you look like someone at ground level has just popped out of a hole, and is grabbing at your feet. Kinda creepy, huh?
‘Kinda creepy’ is the reaction I have to most examples of ‘hands on shoes’, actually, and, much to my surprise, there are quite a lot of them around at the moment. This pair, for instance, is also by Chrissie Morris:
To be fair, this isn’t a brand known for ‘boring’ or even ‘average’ shoes, and neither is Charlotte Olympia, who made these ones: 
MORE hands! Lots of tiny little hands, grabbing at your feet! And this time it’s even creepier: these shoes would be very close to skin-toned on me, which would create the illusion that the tiny little hands were, in fact, growing out of my feet.
These ones, meanwhile, are a little less strange looking:
The contrasting black section (the inside of the shoe is black suede, too), makes this one look a little less ‘realistic’ (not that the others are “realistic”, I hasten to add, but this one looks less like a hand to me somehow), but doesn’t make me any more likely to buy it – and not just because it’s £521, either. No, all of these shoes serve to illustrate the fact that I just don’t like footwear with, er, body parts on them. Hands are the ones I see most often at the moment, but there are also shoes with eyes, mouths and sometimes entire faces on them and I’m just not a fan. Sorry, shoes with faces. Don’t worry, though: you may not be to my taste, but there are plenty other people who out there who love you, and maybe my readers will be amongst them!
So, are you? What do you think of hand-print shoes? At least all of the nails look perfectly manicured, no?
Those are bad. Very very bad.