What: Christian Louboutin red ‘Very Very’ wedges
When: June 2010
Where: Out and about in central Florida
With: Skirt (H&M), tank (Matalan), sunglasses (Gucci), hat (Topshop)

For me, buying expensive shoes requires a certain amount of justification. I like to be able to tell myself, for instance, that the shoes in question will be worth the money: that I’ll wear them so often, and get so much use out of them, that the cost-per-wear will end up being tiny. I like to know they’ll be versatile, in other words, and I’m pleased to report that, in the case of my new Louboutins, that they most definitely are. Here are a few things you can do in bright red Louboutins:

1. You can watch people skate in them:

2. You can pump gas in them: no car required!

(If the wind blows, you can also look a bit like you’re wearing harem pants in them, even although you most definitely are not.)

3. You can pose in front of a giant, inflatable boot in them:

I don’t know about you, but every time I buy shoes, the first question on my mind is, “But will I be able to pose in front of a giant, inflatable boot in them?”

4. You can walk around an almost-empty mall in them:

5. You can be run over by a bus in them:

Finally, and most importantly, as I’m sure you’ll agree, you can…

6. RIDE A BULL IN THEM. I mean, you do ride bulls, don’t you?

Hats off to Christian Louboutin, maker of the most versatile shoes in the world. Ahem.