Er, Christian Louboutin? Louise Goldin? Sam Edelman sees your “spiked shoe” attempts, and he raises you a pair of “Lorissa” suede platform pumps. He also warns you not to get too close to them, because these bad boys will hurt:
No one’s going to be stepping on your heels in these, are they? You know those people who insist on standing right behind you at checkouts and ATMs, breathing down your neck as if that’s going to make you go faster? I’d buy these just for those people.
The fact that there’s crystals mixed in with the spikes is a nice touch, too:
Now, if only I could buy something similar for the back of my car, to give the tailgaters a shock!
These are $199 at Lord & Taylor.