3 Pairs of Red Patent Slingbacks (inc. Christian Louboutin ‘Private Number’)

Christian Louboutin 'Private Number' red patent peep toes

Christian Louboutin ‘Private Number’ red patent peep toes, £580

I know you can’t see me right now (Or at least I hope so, because it would be super-creepy if you could, wouldn’t it?), but I think there’s a pretty good chance you heard me shriek when I first laid eyes on Christian Louboutin’s red patent ‘Private Number’ peep toes.

They. Are. Perfect.

Actually, I’m gutted by this discovery, because I already have a pair of red patent peep toes (no, they’re not slingbacks, but close enough), and I was honestly pretty happy with them. Now that I’ve met ‘Private Number’, however, my poor old shoes just pale in comparison, and now I’m wondering how I can possibly live without them.

Well, OK, I’m not: and, I mean, I’m just going to HAVE to live without them, aren’t I? Because unless I win the lottery (which would be hard, given that I don’t actually PLAY the lottery), I’m probably not going to be buying these any time soon. Here are some other pairs of red slingbacks, to make up for the disappointment:

Jessica Simpson red patent slingbacks

Jessica Simpson red patent slingbacks, £64.55

These ones are by Jessica Simpson, and if I’d seen them before the Louboutins, I’d have thought they were pretty sweet. The chunky cork platform gives them a bit of a summery feel (and should make them fairly comfortable to walk in), while the patent upper is every bit as red and shiny as the designer version – but for a much more affordable price.

These ones, meanwhile, aren’t by Louboutin either, but they do have a bit of a Louboutin-esqe feel to them, don’t you think?

red patent slingbacks

Phillip Plein red patent slingbacks, $382

They’re by Philipp Plein, and I absolutely love the curvy shape and spike upper: I always have had a weakness for spiky shoes, though…

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