Oh no. I was really hoping the flatform would be the one shoe trend of this season which the high street wouldn’t copy. No such luck, though: here’s Miss Selfridge’s ‘Panama’ sandals and… they’re not pretty. Or not to me, anway: you, of course, may think differently, and I’m convinced there must be SOME people out there who are just desperate to get their hands on a pair of flatforms. Or their feet on them, rather. If you wore them on your hands, that would look even stranger, wouldn’t it? (OR WOULD IT? I actually dislike this style so much that if I was forced to find a way to wear flatforms, as some kind of dare, perhaps, I think I possibly would try wearing them on my hands. Or maybe strung around my neck, like some strange kind of shoe necklace. Then, on my feet, I’d wear a pair of 5″ stilettos. Red ones. Take that, flatforms!)
Anyway, I digress. When I look at these shoes, I see a cross between an orthopaedic”granny” shoe (I mean no offence to grannys, here, by the way), and a wicker basket. Of course, I am slightly biased. I don’t like flat, ankle-strap sandals at the best of times, because I think they can look either very childish, or like the kind of shoes you’d use the word “sensible” to describe. And sensible shoes obviously have their place – of course they do. It’s just that that place is nowhere near my feet.
So I wouldn’t like these shoes even without the platform, is what I’m saying. With it, however, I have to come back to what I said when I first wrote about flatforms earlier this year. They will make your feet look like boats. Or bricks. Or both.
From all of this, you can obviously tell that I’m still not a fan of the flatform, and I can’t imagine I ever will be. I said that about skinny jeans when they first became fashionable, though, and now they’re the only type of denim I own. Will the same thing happen with flatforms, I wonder? Will I become to accustomed to seeing people stomp around with giant boat-feet that I, too, will want a pair of giant boat feet, and find myself sheepishly standing in line to buy a pair of flatforms? Well, I’ll be really surprised if that’s the case, to be honest. But I’m not ruling it out.
Anyone want to have a go at convincing me to love flatforms? Here are some more examples from the (slightly) lower end of the price spectrum, if you need some convincing yourself:
Jeffrey Campbell Fatima Wicker – click here to buy.
I’d be surprised if these were the ones to convince you, to be completely honest. Mind you, I was surprised when everyone in the blogosphere rushed about and bought the Jeffrey Canpbell Lita sandals in every available colour, so the continued popularity of Jeffrey Campbell is a complete mystery to me, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Ego and Greed ‘Two Hundred’ Flatforms – click here to buy them.
These come in seven different colours. That’s the nicest thing I can think of to say about them, though.
On the other hand, though…
Irregular Choice ‘Lo Ryder’ – click here to buy them.
Now, I wouldn’t really describe these as “flatforms”. Not really. The platform actually slopes gently down from heel to toe, as opposed to being completely flat, as in the examples shown above. Irregular Choice DO describe them as “flatforms”, though, so I’m going to go along with that, and say that if I absolutely HAD to wear flatforms, I guess these would be the ones I’d choose, because the bright red colour and bow go some way towards making up for the “clodhopper” effect this style of shoe creates. I’m still not keen on the ankle strap, though, and while I know many of you dislike slingbacks, I think a slingback on any of these shoes would make the shape a little more elegant.
Of course, “elegance” isn’t what the flatform is all about, so tell me: what do you think of these? Would you wear any of them? Which would you choose, if so?
At least they’re sandal flatforms, I think I’ll probably cry if I ever see anything like prada’s brogue flatforms in the high street. Admittedly I might cry anyway, flatforms really are a crime against footwear ;(
I think I might have had some foam flatform type sandal in the 90s…it may have had a slight slope to it but I do recall being really high and not in a nice platform wedge way. I may also have fallen off them a few times….I blame the Spice Girls.
So I say NO to flatforms. No…just say no *wags finger* a la Grange Hill. haha!
The Irregular Choice ones are cool in the way that a lot of Irregular Choice shoes are – wouldn’t ever wear them but interesting to look at.
In general, though, flatforms do not make me happy in any way.
I really hate flatforms. Yet, I don’t hate the Irregular Choice ones. At least they have a bit of a heel.
Oh… I don’t like flatforms! We can never say never, of course, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear flatforms!
Oh dear. I do not understand flatforms. I mean, I have foot problems and can’t wear high heels, so I can sympathize with wanting the height a heel gives you without the actual high heel, but it’s just not worth having feet that look like boats. That said, I don’t totally HATE the last ones. I still wouldn’t wear them, but they’re nicer than the others. Like you said, if I was forced to wear flatforms for some reason, those would be the ones I’d pick.
No no no ! Really do not like them!
If you have to invent a whole new word to describe the shoe, it’s not worth it. Unless Monsieur Louboutin does it. Then I might listen.
I think that they’re horrid. They would also make walking up stairs rather problematic as they increase the depth of your feet by a ridicuolus amount. Ugly AND dangerous. I also don’t imagine that they encourage a particularly attractive way of walking – and I don’t see the point in shoes that purely by design are likely to make you stomp about. Surely shoes are meant to make you look better? The Irregular Choice ones are the best of a very bad bunch – and they are a bit headache inducing.