Oh no. I was really hoping the flatform would be the one shoe trend of this season which the high street wouldn’t copy. No such luck, though: here’s Miss Selfridge’s ‘Panama’ sandals and… they’re not pretty. Or not to me, anway: you, of course, may think differently, and I’m convinced there must be SOME people out there who are just desperate to get their hands on a pair of flatforms. Or their feet on them, rather. If you wore them on your hands, that would look even stranger, wouldn’t it? (OR WOULD IT? I actually dislike this style so much that if I was forced to find a way to wear flatforms, as some kind of dare, perhaps, I think I possibly would try wearing them on my hands. Or maybe strung around my neck, like some strange kind of shoe necklace. Then, on my feet, I’d wear a pair of 5″ stilettos. Red ones. Take that, flatforms!)
Anyway, I digress. When I look at these shoes, I see a cross between an orthopaedic”granny” shoe (I mean no offence to grannys, here, by the way), and a wicker basket. Of course, I am slightly biased. I don’t like flat, ankle-strap sandals at the best of times, because I think they can look either very childish, or like the kind of shoes you’d use the word “sensible” to describe. And sensible shoes obviously have their place – of course they do. It’s just that that place is nowhere near my feet.
So I wouldn’t like these shoes even without the platform, is what I’m saying. With it, however, I have to come back to what I said when I first wrote about flatforms earlier this year. They will make your feet look like boats. Or bricks. Or both.
From all of this, you can obviously tell that I’m still not a fan of the flatform, and I can’t imagine I ever will be. I said that about skinny jeans when they first became fashionable, though, and now they’re the only type of denim I own. Will the same thing happen with flatforms, I wonder? Will I become to accustomed to seeing people stomp around with giant boat-feet that I, too, will want a pair of giant boat feet, and find myself sheepishly standing in line to buy a pair of flatforms? Well, I’ll be really surprised if that’s the case, to be honest. But I’m not ruling it out.
Anyone want to have a go at convincing me to love flatforms? Here are some more examples from the (slightly) lower end of the price spectrum, if you need some convincing yourself:
I’d be surprised if these were the ones to convince you, to be completely honest. Mind you, I was surprised when everyone in the blogosphere rushed about and bought the Jeffrey Canpbell Lita sandals in every available colour, so the continued popularity of Jeffrey Campbell is a complete mystery to me, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
These come in seven different colours. That’s the nicest thing I can think of to say about them, though.
On the other hand, though…
Now, I wouldn’t really describe these as “flatforms”. Not really. The platform actually slopes gently down from heel to toe, as opposed to being completely flat, as in the examples shown above. Irregular Choice DO describe them as “flatforms”, though, so I’m going to go along with that, and say that if I absolutely HAD to wear flatforms, I guess these would be the ones I’d choose, because the bright red colour and bow go some way towards making up for the “clodhopper” effect this style of shoe creates. I’m still not keen on the ankle strap, though, and while I know many of you dislike slingbacks, I think a slingback on any of these shoes would make the shape a little more elegant.
Of course, “elegance” isn’t what the flatform is all about, so tell me: what do you think of these? Would you wear any of them? Which would you choose, if so?