I hate shoes with writing on them. Is that just me? I mean, I love my shoes. But I don’t want to READ my shoes. I don’t want other people to read my shoes. And I don’t want to read other people’s shoes. So basically, shoes + words = not for me. Especially when the words appear to be fairly nonsensical. I mean, “The love pull?” “A ire e the love pull?” Say what, Giuseppe Zanotti? What the hell’s THAT supposed to mean? Will other people know what that means? Am I alone in not knowing what “a ire e the love pull” means? Because that would be embarrassing.

The product description at Zappos doesn’t do much to clear up this mystery either. “Gloat your gorgeous self wearing these glamorously glitzy Giuseppe Zanotti pumps!” it says? Oooh-kaaay. That’s all as clear as something completely and utterly opaque, now. “Gloat yourself? Gloat yourself?” I’m very confused. Maybe I’m just not down with the kids. Actually, I’m going to draw this post to a close now before I reveal any more about how un-down with the kids I am. Get these at Zappos. They’re $795. Don’t forget to, er, gloat yourself while you’re wearing them.