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Posts Tagged ‘Ugly Shoes’

black leather boots

What: Black leather calf-length boots, unknown brand
When: Tuesday, February 2nd
Where: Running errands around town
With: Dorothy Perkins bow coat (via eBay), gold belt (no idea)

Just a quick snap while out in the snow earlier this week (yes, the dreaded snow is back: that’s some of it on the toe of my boot, it’s not a design feature, I promise!). I’ve had these boots for, ooh, about six years now? I bought them in TK Maxx, and any brand name has long since worn off, so I’ve no idea who made them, but whoever it was, I would like to salute them for being the only brand at the time to make a pair of boots that actually fit my calves without looking like wellies. Thank you, unknown boot-maker!  May you be rewarded in shoe heaven!

Despite the miracle of Calves That Fit, OMG!, I actually can’t remember the last time I wore these. The Shoe Challenge is definitely doing its job, though, because rather than just grabbing my usual boots when I was getting ready to go out on Tuesday, it made me stop for a moment and pick these instead.  Rediscovering old shoes you haven’t worn in years: it’s like getting new shoes, only, er, not as good.

So! Two pairs down, and now a new challenge presents itself: wearing anything other than boots when it insists on being freezing cold and/or snowing all the time. Gah.

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6a00d8341c873353ef011570a75a74970b-800wiAs anyone who knows me will tell you, my arch nemesis is none other than the Croc. I hate Crocs with a fiery passion, and unless you’re wearing them as gardening shoes or for some other, purely practical reason (I know some people with foot problems find them to be the only shoes they can wear, for instance, and obviously no one’s going to blame them for that), I can see no good side to them. At all. Sure, I’ve heard all of the “but they’re SO! COMFY!” arguments, but here’s the thing: I don’t care.  Because LOTS of shoes are “comfy”, without looking like something the garden gnome just kicked off. Also: I actually tried a pair of Crocs on once, out of sheer curiosity, and let me tell you, I’ve worn comfier shoes.

But anyway. This post actually has nothing to do with my mortal enemy, Crocs, other than that I suspect these shoes, by Zaha Hadid for Lacoste, may be a close relation of them. They’re also made of plastic, but while they lack the clumpy, gnome-shoe look of Crocs, they more than make up for it with that strange, winding plastic strap that snakes up the leg.

What’s that about, then? Can you even IMAGINE how sweaty and uncomfortable that thing would be in warm weather? Or how ridiculous these would look on?

The Fashion Police arrested these shoes earlier today, and have asked me to use my superpowers to cast them into space. I’m only too happy to oblige, but if you love these, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until July, when they’ll be available from selected outlets. As someone comments at the Fashion Police, “just in time for the hot weather!”



office-hold-me-backLast week, reader Ayemiy alerted me to the fact that my arch-rival, Wonder Woman, has apparently been designing shoes for Office. Now, far be it for me to diss a fellow superhero, and it’s true that the black and gold versions of these are a little bit better, but these red and blue ones? No. Just… no.

I’m going to be sticking to my knee-high boots, but if you’d prefer to go with a pair of these, they’re £65 and you can buy them here.



6a00d8341c873353ef01156f94806f970c-800wiI should probably begin this post by saying that I’m an Irregular Choice fan. No, really: I know they’ve been responsible for some truly eyeball-searing sights in their time, but they’re always inventive, always original, and every so often they’ll come up with something stunning.

This isn’t one of those times, though.

These Toulouse sandals are one of a set of fringed footwear which The Fashion Police were forced to to arrest earlier today. (You can see them all here, should you so desire.) How they’ve handed them over to me so I can use my super powers to cast them into space, far, far away from human feet. If you’d like to get them back, however, they’re $72.45, and you can buy them at 6pm.com.

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