Stripper shoes, by Fendi

fendi stripper shoes Stripper shoes, by Fendi

Um, Fendi? I think we need to have a word. You see, maybe it’s just me, but every time I see shoes with a gigantic, perspex platform, I think “stripper shoes”. Which is a real shame in the case of these, because the top half of the shoe is gorgeous, and with a smaller, non-perspex sole, I’d probably have loved them. As it is, though, at £753, they’re just far too expensive to be looking so cheap. No to perspex soles, I say! Now, who’s with me?

Fendi platforms, £752

Fendi black and white swirl suede pumps

fendi swirl suede pumos Fendi black and white swirl suede pumps

At first glance, I though these were two different shoes. Happily, that turned out not to be the case: instead, it’s just a two-tone design, with black to the outside of the shoe and white on the inside. It’s certainly an interesting idea, but depending on how you stand, it WILL still run the risk of making you look like you put on two odd shoes by mistake – that’s how the Net-a-Porter model looks to me, but you, of course, may see these differently. If you do, they’re £470 and you can get them here.

Fendi colourblock patent platform

fendi colourblock platforms1 Fendi colourblock patent platform

Fendi colourblock patent platforms

Black and hot pink is normally way too 80s-tastic for me, but in the case of these Fendi sandals, I’m willing to overlook it – in fact, I think it really makes the shoe.  In plain black, these would’ve been nice, but in this two-tone upper they’re even nicer, with the bright pink straps and heel giving them a bit of extra style. The problem with a colour this bright, however, is that it’s not particularly versatile, and that would be a problem for me given that these cost $720. If it wouldn’t be a problem for you, however, you can buy them at Bergdorf Goodman.

Fendi platform court shoes with double stiletto heels

fendi platform heels Fendi platform court shoes with double stiletto heels

Gigantic, clumpy platforms like these are nothing new at the moment, so I’m mostly just showing you these ones by Fendi because of the heel. Or should that be “heels”? Seriously, I thought I had double vision when I first glanced at this shoe, with it’s double stiletto heels.  Why are they there? What purpose do they serve? Well, none, really, other than to provide a talking point on an otherwise fairly boring shoes, I guess. And given that here I am writing about them, they seem to have succeeded on that score.

What do you think of them, though? Worth $900? Nope, didn’t think so…

Fendi platform court shoes, $909.51

Fendi lizard print platform shoes

fendi lizard platforms Fendi lizard print platform shoesThe words “6.5″ stiletto heel” are enough to strike fear into the hearts of even the most dedicated of stiletto fans, although it has to be said that the large platform sole on these shoes will make them feel a little bit shorter. It probably won’t make them feel any safer, though, and if you try to wear jeans or trousers with them you may find them flapping somewhere around your ankles thanks to the extra height.

Although I’ve admitted to loving animal print on shoes, reptile print is the exception to that rule, so these wouldn’t make it onto my shopping list anyway, but what do YOU think of them? If you think rather a lot of them, they’re £545 at Browns.

Fendi’s shearling ankle boots. They’re wearing a wig, aren’t they?

fedi shearling ankle boots Fendis shearling ankle boots. Theyre wearing a wig, arent they?When I said I was re-naming today The Day of Alarming Ankle Boots? I was actually joking. JOKING. But the Shoeniverse apparently decided to take me seriously (and let me tell you, I should hardly EVER be taken seriously…), and that’s obviously why, just a few short minutes later, I found myself staring at these.

And to be honest, given that it’s Monday morning, and I’m still only on my first cup of coffee, I think that’s just a bit MUCH, no?

So, these are Fendi’s shearling ankle boots. Now, putting aside the materials, which I know some of you will hate, I’m just going to point out the obvious: they’re wearing a toupe, aren’t they? And not only that, they’re wearing a really bad toupe. In fact, here’s all I can think of when I look at these…

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Shoe Deja Vu: Fendi’s Mary Jane Platforms Vs Office Sole Survivor

fendi office platforms Shoe Deja Vu: Fendis Mary Jane Platforms Vs Office Sole Survivor

You’ll be able to spot various differences between these two shoes, and to be honest, they’re both a little too high and spindly for my tastes, but if you’re looking for that Fendi style on a bit of a budget, Office is definitely the place to go. They’ve had these ‘Sole Survivor’ platforms in stock for a while now, as well as lots of other shoes of the super-high platform variety, and I’d imagine most people will be too busy wondering how you’re managing to walk in them to notice the difference between them and the designer version.

That difference works out to about £333, with the Fendi shoes retailing for $675 and the Office ones for £85.